Unless you’ve been through divorce and managed to survive it with all of your sanity intact you may not understand what I’m talking about. Some people think divorce is just a very cut and dry situation… you know, you just sign the papers and move on, right? Wrong! I will go so far as to compare it to having one of your limbs amputated. It’s uncomfortable, it hurts tremendously, you probably miss it at times, and you might even feel like less of a person…almost like something is missing. It takes a long while for your heart to heal and to be able to let something it once held so dear go.
Maybe for some it really is so simple as signing a few papers and moving on but I’m willing to bet that for most it’s not that easy. We’re all human, we all have feelings and that means that there is some kind of emotion left over. It’s normal to feel angry at someone who has hurt you. It’s normal to feel fear of a future without them. It’s also normal to have those moments of pure confusion. I can’t tell you how many times I would wake up, look around the room that was not my home and think, ” Oh God! It really DID happen”, and every day I’d feel that sinking in my heart but that feeling is actually the same feeling that motivated me to be the person I am now.
I tried to never let my children see me cry but at night when it was quiet and they were asleep all I could hear were the thoughts in my head and the tears would stream quietly down my face. There does come a point where you have no more tears left to cry and you do move on with life because it’s what you have to do.
When people say, “it just takes time”, they couldn’t be more right. It doesn’t mean you get over everything but over time you become stronger until the pain lessens to something that is much more tolerable and then one day you’re able to begin to accept everything.
If everything happens for a reason I’d like to believe that through divorce a woman finds herself. She becomes a stronger version of what she once was. She learns to rely only on herself and how to stand on her own two feet. She learns to show the world her smile even when the pain hurts really bad. She learns what truly matters in life and she becomes the person her children need her to be. She finds happiness all on her own and if she’s anything like me she is finally able to see that she’s so much more than that stupid boy ever made her think she was.